Call Me Snake

I was listening to a show last week on WBUR (one of Boston's NPR affiliates) when I heard about a movement at numerous colleges and universities--and perhaps elsewhere--to put warning labels on works of fiction, informing prospective readers that the contents of said tract may be upsetting to them, depending on their sensitivities and life experiences. I found it sickening to hear articulate (and seemingly thoughtful) college students and others making the case for this ridiculous idea. Any decent work of fiction ought to disturb or shock people in some way, or it's probably not worth reading. Don't spoil it by putting a warning label on the cover--as if  the book were nothing more than a carton of cigarettes or a box of digestive aids or allergy medication

The only kind of advanced notice that makes sense, is my opinion, is something like the following:

WARNING! THIS BOOK CONTAINS A TRIGGER ALERT, which is likely to induce nausea, a diminution of mental faculties, and other unpleasant side effects.